Saturday, April 3, 2021

Fulfillment Center

New Amazon "Fulfillment Center"
North of Fargo, ND
 The March 31st, broadcast of Fresh Air featured an interview with a journalist and author, Alec MacGillis. His recent book is titled, "Fulfillment: Winning and Losing in One-Click America." In listening I learned that Amazon has "Fulfillment Centers," not distribution centers or warehouses. What is in a name? A great deal, I believe.


Ever Given in Suez Canal
(Suez Canal Authority)

It was only days ago that a large container ship, the Ever Given, was dislodged from blocking the entire Suez Canal. The vessel is about 400 metres in length. Fully loaded it carries approximately 20,000 shipping containers. These are the same colorful containers that are seen on freight trains, pulled behind semi-tractors on Interstate Highways, and stacked at seaports. 

The Ever Given is only one of hundreds of container ships carrying items from one continent to another. The lines of semi-tractors at ports, as well as moving along highways seem endless.  Where are all of these products headed? You guessed it, "Fulfillment Centers." We want what we want when we want it! The supply chain better not break. I will not tolerate another toilet paper shortage. One click and two day delivery is a way of life. One click and I am fulfilled, Or am I? If I am fulfilled, why do I constantly click for more of the products flowing across the ocean?

Fulfillment according to Dictionary.com is, "the state or quality of completion or realization." Completion? When do we sense our lives are complete? If Amazon had its best year in 2020, we are all clicking more than once to achieve fulfillment. More distribution centers are being built (the one pictured above has 1.3 million square feet), storage units are highly profitable as we need to warehouse stuff that is meant to satisfy us, and we panic when supply chains are weakened or cracked.  


It is the weekend when the majority of those following Christian traditions mark the death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth. In other words, it is Easter weekend. Yup, the time of ham dinners, egg hunts, online or in-person worship, and decorative baskets. It is a "holy time" when we again fill our lives, our stomachs, and our hours with stuff.  Jesus did say, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10.10  ESV). So, fulfillment must be achievable. What will it take to make that a reality?

It is revealing to me that New Testament resurrection accounts have no description of fullness. Those coming to the tomb are filled with disappointment, fear, and grief. What they experience is emptiness. The tomb is empty. Jesus even left the death shroud inside the tomb. Life cannot be realized in that which is full, whether it be a tomb, a container ship, a fulfillment center, or a storage unit. That manner of fullness leads to dissatisfaction, disappointment, anxiety, and death. Life is experienced by being empty. It is found in being liberated from all of the expectations, the desires, and the stuff. It is in rolling back the stone that ensnares and entombs us where we find the freedom to live. 

Fulfillment is not boxed in by walls nor carried in containers. Fulfillment is freedom to experience, explore, and live each day unencumbered!

Friday, March 19, 2021

Pushing Into A New Arena

                                                                                                                                                                  

From birth through my 18th birthday, I lived on a farm in southeastern Minnesota. I found the season uniquely fascinating. Spring included increased activity. Preparing the planting equipment, purchasing and hauling seed, and the miracle of green shoots pushing out of the dark soil provided work and wonderment. We also had a large garden.

My task was to pull weeds away from the vegetables plants. Sometimes it was very easy. Other times it was frustratingly difficult. I could not differentiate between the producing plant and the pesky weed. As much as I marveled at the growth of spring, my ability to find satisfaction in raising or tending to plants never materialized.  

Over the last decade I have grown in my appreciation of flowering plants. No, I do not raise them. I have no skill in that area! Instead, I look for them and many times am surprised by their poking through rocky areas, brightening the prairie in soft hues, or enjoying a walk through a botanical garden. The array of colors brightens my mood. I ponder the strength and determination of that seed, that shoot, to push its way into a new arena and majestically blossom.  I also contemplate the adaptations that seed made in order to flourish in its setting. 


Saturday, March 20th, I will again direct an ultra distance foot event in the Sheyenne National Grasslands near McLeod, ND. The event is called END-SURE. Participants traverse either 100k or 50k of the North Country Trail. This has been extremely difficult, as of late. COVID-19 cancelled last year's event. In 2018 + 2019, the snow was deep, wet, and abundant. Those events were referred to as "slop fests" which caused rerouting, cold, soggy , and dedicated runners. This year is totally different. The snow has melted, the North Country Trail is clearly visible, and people are willing to participate amid pandemic precautions and adaptations. The weather factor of note is 20-30mph winds. This will tax the 100k participants as they have half of their distance in open, wind swept prairie.  

The determination of participants to physically struggle, push themselves forward, navigate the emotional roller coaster, and eventually reach their goal is reminiscent of the shoot pushing through the fertile, cold, and hard soil to display itself. The display on the surface may not initially appear beautiful. Yet, there is an inner awesomeness that radiates from deep inside. The struggle to achieve, the struggle to express mental and physical endurance, emanates from each person. It is my pleasure to observe that human beauty in this ritual of spring. 

Every season of life is an opportunity to explore the magnificence of creation, both in people and in nature!



Sunday, February 21, 2021

Giving Up, Giving In, or Getting Into?

This is a multiple purpose piece. It originated as part of Lenten Reflections distributed to people affiliated with the 2 congregations I currently serve. It was also submitted to the Hillsboro Banner newspaper of Hillsboro ND for my rotation of "Forward in Faith", a weekly article shared by the Hillsboro clergy.

I realize other people outside of the aforementioned groups read this blog. So, if it your first reading, GREAT! If you have read it before, you can go onto the next part of your day.  Stay well!

Years ago I could drive down the highways in peace and quiet. At some point rumble strips came into being. Oh, the annoyance. Yes, I realize the major safety factor associated with them. Yes, I know that is simple to implement. However, as I enjoy the freedom of the open road listening to podcasts and music while scanning the scenery, the displeasure of rumbling stifles my mood. And if it not me, it is the tractor trailer ahead of me riding the rumble strips. I understand their purpose. I also cherish my freedom to relax and drive.


There is an ancient practice of giving up something for Lent. Yup, approximately 45 days of self-imposed discipline. It is encircled by the idea of Jesus giving up so much for us miserable sinners that we can at least give up something for 45 days. A Google search brought me an interesting article from Country Living magazine. I know, what is the connection between Country Living and Lent? I found it ironic that one of the items they suggested giving up was social media and the internet. They also suggested soda, single use plastic, clutter, gossip, negativity, and coffee. At least they did not mention SPAM! Oh, that probably falls under the meatless Friday category. The nasty smell of salmon loaf emanating from the elementary school cafeteria still makes me cringe! At least we now have plant based meats. Goodbye salmon loaf!


Ruble strips and setting aside some for 45 days have their purpose. Human beings need to investigate their freedoms. Yet if you are like me, I will choose the freedom of my own decisions. I will accept the natural consequences of my choices. At a "church affiliated" college where I held residence for 1 year, a group of students gave up sobriety for Lent. The Pabst Blue Ribbon delivery truck was at their housing complex three times a week. The beer distributor was saddened when Easter arrived. The group of students were glad to have fewer headaches, clearer thinking, and more nutritious calories. Passing through the days of Lent indeed brought changes!


Modifying choices on a limited basis does not usually create lasting change. There is an account of Jesus' interaction with a sinful woman (John 8). The exchange between Jesus and the assembled Scribes and Pharisees (religious elite) goes like this:

"Let the one among you who is sinless throw the first stone." Those gathered look at each other. Jesus turns away for a brief time. He then notices the crowd had dispersed. Now the dialog between and the woman goes like this:

"Has no one condemned you?"

"No one."

"Neither do I condemn you; go and from now on sin no more."

No condemnation! Acceptance of the person. Did the woman live a sinless life from that time forward? Could that even be a possibility? Would condemnation reappear at some time? Did the Scribes and Pharisees change their perspectives about sinful people?


We have vast freedoms. We have life, energy, insight, choices, and opportunities pulsing through our bodies. Rumble strips and self-discipline are real. Yet, I sense God frees us to experience the vastness of the gifts provided. Getting towed out of ditches and recovering from hangovers are important times of consequential insight. Lasting change comes from inside gracious and unwavering relationships, especially with God. Neither do I condemn you.


Go and live some more! Get into life!





Tuesday, February 16, 2021

More Than Pushing Pedals

 

Easy section
In July 2017, I participate in what was then called The Trans South Dakota Bikepacking Expedition. It is now called the Trans South Dakota Race. The format is the same. The event directors, Joe and Tina Stiller exhibit the qualities of welcome, hospitality, and compassion in all circumstances. 

I found this writing on a flash drive which I was cleaning up for other purposes. It not only brought back memories, but still captures of essence of spirituality in daily events. The pictures are from the initial part of my journey. This writing is dated August 4, 2017.

I knew before it started that the Trans South Dakota Bikepacking Expedition would be a challenge. I had made my goals for each day. The goals did not seem extreme in my mind. In many ways I thought they would be attained, though with strong effort.

Less than an hour after leaving the start in Beulah, Wyoming my expectations were challenged. My legs felt weak and my heart rate was elevated beyond the usual for biking. Walking became the method for lowering my heart rate. However, those steps became the breeding ground for negative self-talk. I focused on being mindful of my setting, the opportunity of freedom and exploration, and simply placing one foot in front of the other and making one revolution of the crank to move me forward. 

There were many miles of single track. More than I anticipated. Pushing an overloaded bike over and around fallen trees became its own mental and physical challenge. Afternoon rains, gooey mud, and searching for a pannier that had bounded off the rack had my first day ending in the Spearfish Canyon. All other participants were miles ahead of me. 

Day 2 was pushing the heavy bike up rocky trails that mountain goats would not use. I could finally see the town of Lead ahead. This was a major boost until I missed a turn, descending about a mile down a steep grade. In order to participate each rider had to remain on course going back to the point of deviation. Now I was gaining altitude pushing a bike and losing attitude! I continued and made it to the Big D Sinclair station. The workers at the station had way more compassion and hospitality than I expected. They assured me that others who stopped did not look any better than myself.  At last the Michelson Trail and getting to Hill City as the sun was setting. Behind my goals but still upright!

Mt Rushmore and the Pig Tail Highway was a battle in all aspects. Climbing, pedaling, pushing, and screaming down the curving pavement. I quickly learned the skills of proper braking techniques. I lived with the gnawing sense that I would be off the GPS route at any time. Thus caution reigned. The graciousness of ranch residents allowing me access to their water source made the final push to the Hermosa RV Campground manageable. It was here that I connected with 2 other participants, Giorgio and Silvia. At least I was not alone!

Silvia + Giorgio
  Hermosa to Ft. Pierre was a long, hot, pain-filled, and insightful trip. The 3 days were filled with peaks and depths in all aspects of a journey. Riding with two others even when communication was difficult (They live in Italy) was a great boost for me. Silvia stopped her adventure prior to Ft Pierre. Giorgio and I continued the long, hot push. I sensed that I was going to crash and burn (especially burn) prior to reaching our destination. A teenager who was practicing roping with a metal steer was an unsuspecting personal hero. His willingness to provide rest in the shade, copious amounts of iced water, and conversation provided needed respite from my heat induced stupor. 

Reaching Ft Pierre and following the GPS to the destination of a provided campsite, I came headlong into Joe Stiller and Silvia. They were looking for Giorgio and myself. We all had mandatory tracking beacons so they saw our "dots." I had persuaded Giorgio to go ahead of me to Ft Pierre, as I was straining in the harsh conditions. My stop to recover with the roping guardian angel was unknown to Giorgio. My body and spirit were baked. I did not come close to any of my goals. 

I do not call these races. For me they are events. There were previous events that I did not complete. When that occurs the person is listed as "DNF" (did not finish). I told Joe that my journey was ending. His response, "Tomorrow you'll packraft down the Missouri River to Pierre. You will then officially arrive at Checkpoint #1." There was no mention of DNF in ensuing conversations. Joe said multiple times that he wants participants to complete their journey, meet their goals, and finish the ride to North Sioux City. I never heard him mention DNF.

Joe's words were those of acceptance. His acceptance was greater than my fears. In a world where we are constantly placing labels of success and failure, winners and losers upon people, I was taken back by Joe's words of understanding. He understood the journey was more than a finish line.

As a pastor, I needed to hear these words. These are not just Joe's words, but God's words. God wants us to be on and in the journey of life. God understands limits and frustrations. Goals are good. Planning is necessary. However, it is experiencing the people and places along the journey that enhance life. There are variances off the "set course." There are times when others are not strangers but sustainers for the journey. Even when communication is difficult and self-talk can move in the direction of despair, life is more than a race. It is a series of events. 

I completed the journey across South Dakota in July 2018, once again with the help of Joe + Tina, my wife, and gracious sustainers.



Saturday, February 6, 2021

Live & Die Healthy

Moving into February means additional minutes of daylight grow rapidly. Over the month about 80 minutes of daylight are added in this area. Along with brightening the landscape, melting snow, and boosting my mood the need for lights and reflective materials lessen. Yet, I have learned over many years of foot and bike travel that reflective material is an everyday asset. 

Road ID Reflective Strap
Digging around a bin full of gear (too much gear) I discovered one of my first purchases of a reflective band. I have wider and brighter ones which is why this one was relegated to a bin. However, this one serves as an identification source (medical information + contacts) as well as being reflective. The motto which I chose to fill out the metal plate provided plenty of mental reflection as I brought it back into use. This piece of gear is about 15 years old. Thus it made me ask, "Have I been living and dying in a healthy manner?"

It may seem counter-intuitive to think of dying healthy. However, at the time the band was purchased I was working as a healthcare chaplain. I had also worked as a hospice chaplain and treatment center chaplain. I have been in situations too numerous to count where the dying person and their loved ones were not healthy. The physical realities of stress, hydration and caloric choices, and exercise along with emotional and spiritual maladies which accumulated over the years made a pain-filled, anguished, and desolate death, even when surrounded by people. 

Early Years
Reviewing the past often is not glamorous nor pleasant. Even though my past does not define my present, I cannot be in a healthy place unless I investigate and own previous patterns of thoughts and behaviors. The cute boy in the picture held more internal angst than his frame indicates. The sibling arguments and physical altercations were normal. They were usually short-lived and forgotten. Yet, I always held a desire to beat my older brothers at something. The internal struggles were more difficult to wrestle. It was into the fourth decade of my life when internal health began to take root and blossom. The feelings of inadequacy, the unresolved hypocrisy, and festering fury were faced with new resolve. There was no reason to deny the thoughts and actions. I could not begin being healthy until I looked clearly at myself. 

The late author, James Baldwin wrote, "To accept one's past - one's history - is not the same thing as drowning in it; it is learning how to use it. An invented past can never be used; it cracks and crumbles under the pressures of life like clay in a season of drought.

My understanding of "Live & Die Healthy" is not static. Health incorporates, as well as embraces change and growth. My outlook on the external and internal aspects of my being fosters health. Daily reflections are not for others to see me, but for building a foundation that is secure in the midst of what happens around me. As Epictetus said, "Circumstances don't make the man, they only reveal him to himself." My life can be as cyclical as the daylight in the Northern Plains. However, I do not have to revert into old practices and attitudes. Healthy becomes woven in the fabric of life, past, present, and future. The deep connection with reality as it is, instead of escaping from it is what I want to reflect. It is the soil in which my foundation is laid. 

Trans South Dakota Race
These words from the book, "Everything is Spiritual" by Rob Bell, "Our lives are loaded from the beginning with history and drama and love and wounds and tragedy and hope. I'm mysterious enough to myself, let alone the ones I come from - We never stop leaving who we are and how we've been shaped by the people and places we come from. Our hearts and minds and memories are endlessly explorable."  

I invite you to reflect, explore, and live & die healthy!






Saturday, January 23, 2021

Looking At as Much as Through

Reflection on tinted glass.
  Eight years ago over a decade stint as a healthcare chaplain came to a close. Two  
  months of accumulated PTO (paid time off) provided me opportunity to dream 
  about and imagine the future. It was a time of introspection, anxiety, and  
  navigating the bureaucracy of a denominational organization.  As a few weeks  
  passed I became more future focused. What was going to be the next setting for  
  my work life?

  While discussing my situation with a fellow runner, I got a lead on a part-time,  
  income producing job. Part-time appealed to me as I had not settled on my 
  future endeavors. Following a couple of meetings to discuss the part-time activity,     I became a window washing trainee with Wagner Window Cleaning of Fargo ND. Scott was a patient and/or desperate boss. Over time my skills, as well as my speed improved. Early morning sunrises in moderate temperatures while working alone made it the greatest job around! Winter darkness in ten degree air temperatures, dodging cars coming through the drive-up lane made me question my sanity. A phrase Scott used as instruction and correction on numerous occasions, "Do not look through the glass. Look at the glass." continues to echo in my mind. 

Future is a powerful concept! It is a motivation to get out of bed and live another day. A definition of hope which I embrace is, "the expectation of a good yet to come." Thus the focus is upon what lies ahead in the next hour, day, week, and year. We look through the current moment toward what is yet to come. It is a human construct with a powerful purpose. And like all human designs it is multifaceted. 

Continually "looking through" is powerful in providing a focus for our plans and energies. Yet as we set our vision and dreams forward we neglect living in the present. Scott, while desiring speed and efficiency on the job which translated into greater monetary returns, also wanted clean windows. Neglecting to look at the glass and not simply looking, but investigating from different angles, left spots, streaks, and sometimes significant untouched dirty areas. This type of work was not acceptable. It had to be redone in order for the job to be complete.

My bathroom mirror is not future oriented. I cannot see through it, yet I resist looking at it. It is not to avoid
the water spots from overzealous washing nor the white specks from vigorous teeth brushing. It is to avoid looking at myself. What holds true for window cleaning holds true for my life. I need to look at my current situation from a variety of vantage points. I need to see and own the spots, streaks, and cloudy areas of my life. As Socrates, time honored statements says, "An unexamined life is not worth living." Neglecting to live in the present, examining my inner-self translates into the job of living fully as incomplete. 

As a society we keep looking through current events and a mirage of a better future. We focus on the end of the pandemic. Does "return to normal" sound familiar? Yet returning is spoken of in the future. We predict economic recovery and prosperity. We look through present realities in order to avoid pain, grief, and the 
Paramount Sports
looking through the window
reality of crumbling human relationships. As much as I wanted to provide excellence 
in washing windows, quickly moving out of the frigid conditions that made my fingers throb with pain, if I did not focus on my current situation I would return and repeat it all over. 

I am in a life setting where I have ample time. The constraints of job, advancement, and family are lessened significantly. Yet I cringe at looking from various vantage points at my daily life. I make activities or appointments to move through the day or week in order to avoid the unscheduled present. I question my usefulness when I verbalize and internalize that I have no plans for the day. Yet there is a developing sense of acceptance. It comes slowly as I look at myself. I still have value, sanity, and usefulness. It is in enfolding what I see today that guides me into the future. Speed and efficiency in developing self and meaning cannot happen, in my opinion. I deeply and sincerely believe there is good yet to come. However, I do not want to miss the reality which includes discovery and serenity today.

Saturday, January 9, 2021

The Wheels Go Round and Round

I first heard the lyrics when my daughters were involved with swimming lessons, "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round." Fun, simple lyrics to distract attention from the new surroundings and possibly frightening aspects of deeper water. 

Resistance Knob
The branding and marketing department of Peloton appear to know their craft. The name and logo are everywhere on their equipment, their live and on-demand classes, and their merchandise. The circular resistance knob which increases or decreases resistance on the wheel (depending upon which way it is turned) also serves as a brake when it is pushed down is emblazoned with their logo. You can see the "p", as well as the crank arms for a bicycle. Push and pull on the cranks via the pedals and the wheel goes round and round, round and round.

I am using and learning many things about the bike, the online options for various workouts, and the instructors. Oh yes, I am also learning about myself and my discipline or lack thereof. This bike will serve a wide variety of fitness needs for years to come. The humorous yet ironic part of this bike is no matter how long or how fast I crank the pedals, no matter how many revolutions the wheel makes (the wheel on the Peloton goes round and round, round and round, round and round) I never physically move. I remain in the same corner of the basement even when the number on the screen indicates I have traveled 18.37 miles. The wheel spins, but nothing changes. 

The Hebrew wisdom found in Ecclesiastes reads, "What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done; there is nothing new under the sun." (1.9  NRSV)  The world, as well as my life goes round and round. I experience new things. I travel to unique places. Technology opens new arenas for exploration, education, and entertainment. How can the ancient author proclaim there is nothing new under the sun?

Looking upon the chaos and mayhem exhibited last week in Washington, DC is something the majority of us have never seen. Violence, destruction, angry mobs, and death all covered from various vantage points. Words flowing from politicians and news media alike stating, "This is not the way Americans act." "This is domestic terrorism."  Unique to current generations, yes. Unique to human emotions and behaviors stirred by others in order to garner personal gain, NO! Their are rafts of stories throughout human history describing the distressing realities of our actions toward one another. These actions are nothing new.

As a pastor (almost 4 decades), I have served within a couple of denominations (Lutheran and United Church of Christ). The national entities have sang the chorus, "We can change the world." numerous times over those years. I understand the sentiment and emphasis to motivate people to act in ways that diminish "isms." Yet there are always underlying agendas motivating the chorus: bureaucratic, numerical growth, contributions to sustain business, and political power. I also believe their are altruistic motivations. These campaigns and slogans have a mixture of incentives. I am not opposed to encouragement nor developing fuller ways of responding to our situations. 

The Prime Directive in the mission of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701), in Star Trek, General Order #1, says that the personnel and craft is prohibited from interfering with the internal and natural development of alien civilizations. It prevents the crew from using their superior technology to impose their own values and ideals upon others. In other words, they are to go, discover, experience, and understand "strange new worlds" with a personal and emotional detachment. This allows other cultures and beings to evolve at their own pace. According to one source, Captain James T. Kirk violated General Order #1, with some regularity. There is nothing new under the sun even when the suns are in other galaxies reached through warp speed. 

I find that making the wheel go round and round to be insightful. It provides physical challenge and fitness, as well as stimulating internal perspectives and consciousness. Instead of being fatalistic, I find Ecclesiastes' wisdom producing a deep sense of calm in the midst of contemporary changes. Frustrations over not making progress, not changing the world, and not becoming more advanced as a society are lessened as I realize this is natural, human behavior. This is creation I cannot change. What is new? What is invigorating? What keeps my mind active and my spirit inspired?  It is the opportunity to gain perspective on my internal life and appreciation for the world around me. The foundational pillars of Stoic philosophy (courage, justice, moderation, and wisdom) are used as a daily guide. I live and respond to that which I have control, my own self. 

The grey, foggy days recently experienced in the Red River Valley of the North, allowed for rime or hoarfrost to cover many rough objects. The breezes which carried the water droplets created unique displays. While exercising along a rural, minimum maintenance road I was distracted by these beautiful sights. This form of creation was new to me on such a close and personal level. I did not need to change it, recreate it, or preserve it. I was gifted to observe it. The phone photos do not capture the splendor of the scene. I became the benefactor of awe and serenity in an overcast, damp, and cold day. 

My life goes round and round, round and round. There is always beauty even when progress is not perceived!