Tradition & Experience

According to Dictionary.com, "the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc. from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice." is their initial definition of tradition.

The later weeks of November through December seems to carry more tradition than any other time period in the year. With the tradition comes an extraordinary amount of emphasis placed upon everything from food, to movies/television, decorating, shopping, emotional euphoria, and the need to perpetuate the rituals.

(Lower center between parents) 

As long as I can remember my mother was a Registered Nurse. Her usual shift was overnight. In this way she could have some daytime and evenings with the family. However, she always seemed to work holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas. "Other people need to have time with their families." was her answer to why she was working. The day itself lessened in significance as the weekends before or after became our time to gather. Thanksgiving was spent with my maternal grandparents. These grandparents were in the same room long enough to eat. Otherwise, they were not together. And the stuffing was always pulled from the cavity of the turkey. Plump, wet raisins dotted the glistening dressing. Nothing could be worse for someone who only ate raisins when they were leathery dry and either in cookies or wheat cereal.

Marriage brought Thanksgiving at the in-laws complete with a children's table. I always found the children's table more fun than the adult table. And it was in a separate room. My mother-in-law was so busty passing and refilling platters and bowls that her food had to be cold by the time she sat down to eat.

My dad flanked by my family

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, as a pastor caused my mother's words to reverberate in my brain. It seemed that working those days became tradition. My family always came after the time honored Candlelight Worship needs of the congregation(s). It seems strange now (but not at the time) to allow the tradition of the congregation(s) to set the tradition for our family. Add to all of this the unwritten rule of being at the in-laws ASAP following services and you can picture a tradition of chaotic movement. 

With both daughters grown but Christmas Eve & Day still being part of vocational life, emphasis was been placed on Thanksgiving. In the past decade Thanksgiving has been spent in Italy, Las Vegas, Florida, Arizona, serving meals to families in a hospital, experiencing "zoo lights", eating at Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen, and visiting my father. So, I ask myself while looking at this from many angles, "Is there a tradition to be found?"

Italy

I recently finished the book, "The Pursuit of Endurance" by Jennifer Pharr Davis (2018). She wrote, "Feeling stuck is no excuse for staying where you are." As I look back, as well as look around the spectrum of tradition is everywhere. A certain day, a certain menu, the regularity of knowing what come next, and the deep meaning of generational gatherings clings tightly for many. Equally I see lasagna and whiskey, queso and tacos for daily grazing, and this year, faces seen on video connections. I listen to the bemoaning of cultural norms, as well as the loss of the Black Friday frenzy. 

Southwestern treat

This year was spent quietly at home. With the generosity of another family the normative foods of Thanksgiving were delivered with "no contact." COVID quarantining provided the structural reality. No trips. No family. No gathering. Were we stuck? What does this mean during this year's emphasis upon holiday gatherings? Pandemic be damned! What about future gatherings? Each day, every experience is a part of life. The value is not in completing a huge puzzle. I believe it is in taking the piece provided and finding its beauty. Staying where I am is an option if I choose to close my eyes and wish for something different. However, I choose to embrace each day for what it provides while attempting not to judge it. I cannot stay where I am because each day provides new pathways on the journey of life. Earlier I wrote, "You can picture a tradition of chaotic movement." It is only chaotic if you attempt to impose your order on it. I choose to practice life and gratitude as my tradition even when it appears nontraditional. 

Fluidity

In last week's video mention was made of boundaries being fluid instead of rigid. I believe we are to live grace-filled lives not encumbered by the past, but flowing into our current setting.  In the November 9 reading from Ryan Holiday's, "The Daily Stoic", the story of a battle ship of the Athenian hero (Theseus) is being preserved in its battle ready form. Over time boards rotted and were replaced. Eventually every piece of wood on the vessel had been replaced. So the question is asked, "Is it still the ship of Theseus or is it a new ship?"

I see life as constantly changing, evolving, and fluid. Included are 3 pictures of business in Fargo ND. The first is looking at West Acres Mall from the southeast. It opened in August 1972, near the intersection of I-29 & I-94. Originally this area was crop land on the edge of town. I remember in the early 80's on a trip to Fargo, eating in the mall at the Grainery. First time ever for beer cheese soup with popcorn on the top.     

Additions, renovations, retail transitions, and consumer shopping habits have changed over the years. How long will this massive structure remain viable? Are investors wanting to place resources into an aging retail concept? Soon a 1 million square foot Amazon Fulfillment Center will open on the north edge of Fargo. It will be 50,000 square feet larger that West Acres.

The purple painted building was originally a Krispy Kreme which opened in 2002. The "hot light" drew thousands of people to this place for about 6 years before it closed. Now a custom made mattress store has a drive up window. And I believe the "hot light" is gone. I wonder why I have never seen a line outside of this store for people waiting to get a mattress? I guess sleep is more important than donuts. However, just as 

you use your smartphone for an alarm clock, there is a "hot light" app which will alert you when fresh, sugary, melt away donuts are available. 

The final structure housed the "Toys "R" Us." The open square footage must make for easy display of massive Halloween products. How many blow-up pumpkins can fit in one store? As Halloween is now the second largest commercial holiday in the United States who needs toys? Not to short the toy industry, I fondly remember the Lionel train my bothers and I

shared for a Christmas present. The black transformer box would get hot the longer the train went in its circular track. Pushing the red button created a horn sound.  Later in life I attempted to regain an interest in trains, HO scale. In this effort to recreate the past, all I achieved was spent money and time. 

Yes, I mourn the loss of people, places, events, and institutions that were a part of my life. Memories bring a smile to my face and comfort to my being. Yet memories are not reality. Memories are ephemeral constructs of the mind. Longing for the past does not help me live freely in the present. To reiterate a phrase from last week: "We need to listen to the music of the past, so we can sing in the present, and dance into the future."  Creation is continually being recreated. It is still creation, but it is not the creation of decades, weeks, or even hours ago. Everything is flowing and fluid. What enhances life is the ability to live unencumbered each day. This does not make for comfortable living. Constant adjustment and new visions consume physical and emotional energy. In other words, it is exhausting. AND, I believe it is worth the energy expended. 

This 50k ultra running event in the Gila Wilderness of New Mexico will not occur again. I got to share in my son-in-law's first ultra finish two years.

These are the 2 race directors who not only created a great event for many ultra runners, but were the pinnacle of hospitality. When you picked up your bib number you picked up placement into their family.

39 years ago in a small church in rural Faribault County, MN a person not known for impulsivity made a commitment to be my partner. What occurred in that church is recorded in the Courthouse. What has happened over the years does not define our relationship today.  

I am not a singer or a dancer. Many rotten and misaligned boards in my life have been replaced. Everything is fluid. We are the ones who place opinions and make reactions to the events of life. I continue to believe that living with the fluidity of each day. especially in the realities of human behavior and viral behavior is worth the effort.

I end with an email quote from a friend who watched last week's video, "I think that if you are not challenged in the way that you think about things that you begin to die and what you hold true becomes.....moldy."  Very well said, Mark!

Vacation Romanticism

According to Dictionary.com a vacation is: "a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel."

I remember loading up the 1960 Ford Fairlane station wagon and traveling through North Dakota, Montana (Tip-Top Motel in Wolf Point), Idaho, Washington (I fell off a swing and went unconscious), Oregon, California, Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, and South Dakota (Mt. Rushmore + Wall Drug) before returning home. Endless hours in the car, picnic meals, no air conditioning, getting a turn to sleep in the station wagon instead of the motel,  no advanced reservations, no chain motels, and natural beauty beyond the dreams of a southern Minnesota farm kid. This was a rare occurrence for my family which held and still evokes a certain romanticism.

Tepee lodging.

The latest lapse in posting was due to a vacation. One daughter and I ventured to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Many hours were spent in a car (not flying during the pandemic). No picnics, but plenty of online ordering for curbside pick-up or drive thru. Reservations were made in advance, but no national chain properties. Three nights in a tepee and one in a mountain top cabin. The cabin was close to a cancellation due to rental car malfunctions. The romanticism of flawless, relaxing, and rejuvenating suspension from routine was not a part of this adventure. Yet the natural beauty of so many places, the shared experience, insightful and challenging conversations, and personal introspection produced meaning and memories. 

Trail vista.

My daughter enjoys hiking, specifically day hikes. Her fitness and stamina are excellent, but the thought of multiple days on the same trail has no allure. When I hike the mind goes to forward movement.  Eating and drinking can be accomplished while in motion. Following our initial 12 mile out-and-back Appalachian Trail hike, she stated that future hikes needed to incorporate at least one 15 minute break. The 8 mile loop of the succeeding had the sit, eat, relax break. As we resumed the hike she asked, "Dad how long did we rest?" Not having looked at any time measurement device I responded, "I am sure at least 15 minutes." To which she replied, "We stopped for 8 minutes." Ouch! 😲So what was my hurry? Beautiful day, beautiful scenery, pleasant company. Established patterns are difficult to change. So much for suspending my mind set of pushing for endurance.

Heat for a cold night.

The malfunctioning vehicle (electrical issue-absolutely no current flow) came without any warning. Calling the toll free number and being promised an exchange at the local airport was easy. Swapping the vehicle at the airport was not going to happen.  The desk manager was unrelenting in his denial even when spoken to by the person on the toll free number. At least the manager returned my phone. My daughter had dealt with these situations numerous times, pre-COVID-19 or as she says, "In the before time." I am not forceful in stating what I expect in order to resolve an issue. The phone connection dropped while in the midst of a hopeful sequence. My daughter is texting me while I am attempting to hear the next person I connected with at the toll free number. On my return to the car where my daughter was waiting, she waved with urgency. After opening

The view from the modern bathroom.

 and closing doors, walking around the car 4 times clockwise and 4 times counterclockwise, all while evoking the name of Justin Timberlake, the car started. The fickle, but currently operating carriage got us to the base parking area for our two mile hike to the mountain top cabin. World it start in the morning? Flip a coin!! Huffing, puffing, and perspiring along a steady incline with everything needed for the night in our backpacks while twilight progressed into darkness, headlamp and flashlight turned on took my attention off of the car.  A cabin with no electricity, propane stove, cold running water, and a wood burning heat source was our respite from the chaos. The hosts in a near by cabin were gracious, welcoming, and understanding. Their hot shower and hospitality were welcomed. We heated up leftover bbq from lunch and settled in for the night. The wind was strong, the sky was clear, and the temperature found its bottom in the upper 20s.  Our wood supply (my daughter is a wood stove maven!) was depleted by 4am. The brisk, bright morning had a unique beauty. The 2 mile 

Stream along the cabin trail.

descent (yup, to the fickle car) while quicker than the climb had its share of slippery hazards and intense beauty.  The car....well it started! 

Returning to the city where my daughter resides was uneventful. A little different route allowed for new scenery. The worry about the car starting each time it was shutoff for fuel or rest area sat in the back of my mind. All went well and we parked the vehicle. The night included laundry and conversation.

View from the cabin porch.

In the morning I moved the vehicle from the street in order to get close to what I needed to load. The rain was beginning to fall. With the car loaded and hugs shared I went to start the car. It was completely dead once again. The prior ritual had no effect this time. Was it clockwise or counterclockwise first? 😕 A phone call and BOOM! A tow truck loaded the car and I exchanged it without a hassle. 

Experiencing diverse beauty, being in an area where COVID-19, masking, and distancing are alien, listening to thought provoking podcasts while hiking, being challenged by my daughter on perspectives and patterns of behavior, all while realizing that life is good, produced a reality while not the reminiscent romanticism of vacations past it was indeed a rare gift! Returning to my routines while easy and safe does not provide the stimulation I experienced on this time way.  I have found that definitions do not always determine reality. 

Halloween decoration in the city.

Flitting Fall

 

For decades the season of fall has been my favorite time of year. The sights, smells, sounds, colors, temperatures, and harvest activity never get routine. Yet in the midst of the inspiriting I also encounter bouts of foreboding and depression. The lessening of sunlight, the landscape becoming monochromatic, harvest activity abruptly ending, and a personal issue with cracked skin on my hands does battle with my uplifting perspective. 

The influence of Stoic Philosophy has provided untold benefit to curb my fluctuating feelings in this prized cyclical space. In particular the words of Epictetus in Discourses are foundational, "There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."

I have learned to embrace what is. Exposing myself to both the majestic colors and the invariant tinctures of brown and grey, as well as the autumnal sunlight and precipitant clouds provides a broader appreciation of nature. It is outside of my power and will to affect nature. Thus I plunge myself into its reality and discover more about myself and the world. These discoveries are of immense value. Such discoveries enliven not depress me.

What is to come? That is a powerfully diverse question! In a pandemic, an election season, as well as in the midst of economic, technological, and cultural eruptions it is easy to worry, move along the spectrum of depression, and envision catastrophe. This not only comes naturally to individuals, but it is used by multiple influencers to stir intense reactions promoting a closed perspective and overwhelming fear of the future. These promotions of false dichotomy only serve the purpose of those making the assertions. Nature is more powerful than humans. Worrying about that over which we have no power is wasted energy.

As Jesus of Nazareth said, "Do not worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today." (Matthew 6.34  CEV) 

Yes, time moves steadily forward and the seasons glide one into another. Fall will pass with its own character and personality. In the northern plains (where I reside) many people live with a dread of what is to come. Dread cannot change what has come for eons. Happiness, internal well-being comes with accepting each day, without value judgement for what it provides. I believe each day is a gift and I have been given the ability to hold it, view it, and use it. 

I am including a link to a book of daily readings focusing on Stoic Philosophy by Ryan Holiday.  The Daily Stoic  (I get no commission nor personal gain from this link. It is for information only.)

A podcast that I find helpful in a general outlook on life comes from Tony Dufresne PhD. The link will take you to his web page:  Java Bud

On that sight you can find a great deal of useful information and a link to his podcast. (I have met Tony in person. I find him genuine and helpful. Again, I receive no benefit from this link.)

During the pandemic I have also found useful scientific and practical information with minimal bias from Mike Osterholm, epidemiologist and Master of Public Health from the University of Minnesota's Center for Infectious Disease Research and Prevention. 

Finally, I publish a writing every two weeks. I alternate the blog with video offerings on my YouTube Channel. However, I am choosing an opportunity to be away from 
easy access to technology in the weeks ahead. There will not be a written blog post until November 1st.  Thank you for giving your time to read this blog!

Impact - Interpretation - Implementation

What I have experienced over decades is uniquely mine. The impact, interpretation, and implementation of response to these numerous events are uniquely mine. Yet I believe many events are universal.  It is as individuals respond to said events where variety becomes noticeable. 

A portion of seminary education (Trinity Lutheran Seminary, Columbus OH) consisted in the proper understanding of key events and doctrines. The rites of the church and in many ways the rites of passage were to be understood and provided within a set framework. Individual experiences (baptism, confirmation, and communion) were valid and meaningful if understood and practiced within established parameters. There was little room for variance if these were to produce their understood benefits. 

Impact, interpretation, and implementation crept into these aspects of my pastoral life. Baptisms should only be performed at a Sunday worship gathering. Confirmation needed set standards of academic performance (memory work, sermon notes, passing knowledge tests) in order for faith to be validated. Proper understanding of Communion (Jesus is present - in, with, and under the bread and wine {Lutheran words}was vital for proper personal benefit. Anything less was eating and drinking damnation onto one's self. All of these dos and don'ts were challenged in the daily lives of the people with whom I served. Eventually decisions of practice needed to be made, obey the aforementioned rules or serve in ways that exhibited what I believed was the intent of God's grace and commitment to humanity.

Fast forward about 4 decades. Baptism is all about God and God's grace, not the status of parents or sponsors. The couple pictured had their child baptized on a Sunday and as part of worship. The child's sponsor joined via FaceTime. People were mindful of COVID protocols. We laughed about the child either being baptized with a Super Soaker to maintain distance or using hand sanitizer instead of water. Changing times call for creative options! God's steadfast love and grace is the theme of baptism, not the lives of the participants nor the day on which it occurs. 

After a couple of years of meeting on various days and at a variety of times, this teenager took responsibility for his faith at an outdoor gathering. The rural location with hens and llamas, as well as his sponsors, parents, sister, relatives, and friends made for a meaningful occasion.                  

Confirmand and sponsors

The following is what he shared at the ceremony: A big thing we talked about with Pastor Tim was faith. I had always assumed religion and faith were one in the same, but I learned that my faith is something that is specific to me. I also learned that my faith is always developing, and will continue to develop throughout my life. One of the most appealing aspects of growing in my faith was that I can carry it with me throughout my life. Through hard times I can look to my faith to guide me, and I'm ready to start on that path today." No measurements of class attendance, memory work, or Sunday mornings at worship. 

This family lives with faith integrated into daily life. I enjoyed the lively discussion that helped to make what can be so esoteric usable in life.

My role as a pastoral care provider focuses on relationships: relationships with people, relationships between people, and God's relationship interwoven in all aspects of life. The seminary training provided foundational materials. Throughout the decades building on a foundation in order to be creative, flexible, authentic, and free is necessary to find meaning and strength in life. 

I am grateful for the opportunities and relationships that have enhanced my life!

 

What Is In a Name?

Many Boomers may remember a children's chant, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." (The Christian Recorder - March 1862) or "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never harm me." (Anne J Cuppler - 1872)

Early photo - Timmy

Throughout childhood I was referred to as: Timothy, Timmy, Tim, Syrup, and Two Bellies. Obviously not all of these names held the significance nor conveyed the same meaning. In its original form, Timothy (Greek origin) means "honoring God." My two older brothers had names from Christian Scripture, as well.

Concluding my year of internship as a portion of graduate divinity school in order to become a pastor in Lutheran traditions, this advice was offered by an elderly person, "Make certain that people call you, 'Pastor' because it is a name of respect."

Names and labels are everywhere. Not only are they used to identify, but as previously mentioned they stir up feelings and images. Some are lighthearted and laughable while others cut deep into our sense of being. The present culture seems to use names as weapons to paint with broad strokes those with whom they disagree. Pharmaceutical companies create names for medications that seemingly have no connection to anything. In a previous entry titled, "Training for Life" posted July 14, 2020, I shared my perspective that everything we do and experience should train us for daily living. Now I want to explain the rest of this blog's name, "SPC Adventures."

As the previously mentioned person insisted that I be called "Pastor", that name held images and power for me. There was status, respect, and a vocational definition in that word. I was not totally certain of its parameters, but I found some safety and aloofness in the title. As years passed my previous understanding of the name became uncomfortable. I questioned how (in my understanding) maintaining a rigid and at times impersonal stance allowed for personal integrity. Was I playing a role or being myself?

Opportunities for more training were crucial in helping answer questions concerning pastoral identity. Yes, I still serve part-time as a pastor for 2 congregations.  However,

Hillsboro ND Parish

I enjoy assisting with the integration of faith into life.  Life is an adventure. There are surprises, disappointments, deep awe, and painful missteps. I combine Specialized Pastoral Care into life's adventures. Pastoral care comprises emotional, spiritual, and social support. This is not bound by religious structures or institutions. Pastor: a Latin word meaning "shepherd." So pastoral care is concerned about the feeding, well-being, and growth of people throughout the spectrum of life. I specialize in relational care, creative education, and life transitions. The importance of faith, as well as the dynamics of faith are to be used in daily adventures. At times there is need for assistance, insight, and accompaniment on the adventure. Those are the times when I can be of assistance. 

Thus the name: Specialized Pastoral Care Adventures and the tagline: Training for Life.

I was recently interviewed by JJ Gordon for his podcast, "JJ Meets World." JJ is a radio personality on KFGO 790 in Fargo ND. He is on the midday show "It Takes 2." He also acts, is a stand-up comedian, and enjoys movies. His in-laws attend the Hillsboro United Parish.  If you have some time to listen, we discuss many topics. Our discussion is longer than my sermons!!  You can access the podcast via the colored link "JJ Meets World."

More Minimizing Musings

The previous post contained some thoughts, as well as struggles with attempts to minimize the multitudinous stuff in my life.  Following that post, one of my daily readings based on Stoic Philosophy contained this from Seneca, an ancient philosopher and foundational figure in Stoicism:

"No person has the power to have everything they want, but it is in their power not to want what they do not have, and to cheerfully put to good use what they do have."  (Moral Letters       Letter 123, Section 3)

I doubt if marketing was a recognized vocation as time measurement moved from BC to AD, but Seneca's observations indicate that human desire to have it all is timeless. Today our culture packages that desire in both blatant and subtle ways. As much as I resist, the desire for MORE is powerful!

As I was developing topics and ideas for future videos (I have a channel on YouTube) the thought of better equipment entered my mind. A camera meant for multiple purposes (I currently use my phone), a Bluetooth remote control, wi-fi enabled to post instantly or livestream, ways to attach the camera to multiple things all while having a stable picture, and the software to edit the footage were being entertained in my mind.  After spending almost 2 hours researching(time not set aside), I abruptly ended my search. Realizing that more technology means more time futzing, learning, and getting frustrated; these videos while being enjoyable are not necessary nor income generating; and not wanting to part with the hundreds of dollars necessary for all the equipment, I returned to my original activity of setting schedules and ideas. 

In reality I have so much. Actually I have too much stuff which distracts from my enjoyment of life. Time spent on stuff is time taken away from activities and relationships I enjoy. A recent time with family on the North Shore of Lake Superior helped to again refocus my daily expectations. Simple hiking, biking, a rustic cabin, the sound of waves crashing on the shore, and time spent with a flexible schedule brought so much, none of which was frustrating. The photos posted are flowers in Gooseberry Falls State Park. Simple yet magnificent!

Another ancient philosopher wrote, 

"Again I observed another example of how fleeting life is under the sun: a person who is all alone - with no child, no sibling - yet works hard their entire life. Still the person is never satisfied with the wealth gained. Does the person ask, 'Why am I working so hard?' or 'Why am I depriving myself of life's simple pleasures?' This too, is fleeting, like trying to catch hold of a breath; it is a miserable situation."  (Ecclesiastes 4.7-8   The VOICE Translation)